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How Self-Doubt Rules People

personal development Jun 17, 2018

Self-doubt is a huge driver in our lives, wouldn’t you agree? Whether it be about appearance, intelligence, decision making or social acceptance, there are too many people who need constant validation and compliments. This doubt hinders their decision making and life fulfillment, takes away control over how they feel, and long-term leads to self-esteem issues, anxiety and depression. The continual need for validation is not the same as narcissism but often looks similar.

Interdependence is a normal part of human society. As much as we need to be able to validate ourselves we also seek validation from our peers. I once heard a saying that went something like: If you live by the compliment you’ll die by the criticism. Dependent people who seek external validation constantly often lack emotional stability, with swings happening frequently. People who seek constant external validation often lose touch with the foundation of who they are. These same people may find that they...

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Everybody is a Genius

personal development Jun 03, 2018
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
– Albert Einstein
I’ve always found that quote to be very spot-on because we often judge people’s intelligence and skills based on our own values and abilities. We all have natural abilities. In my experience I have found that people often dive into areas of learning where they naturally excel while avoiding the areas where they are not naturally gifted. I have a “skill” math equation I tell clients about: Natural Ability x Interest = Skill.
 
Finding the balance between over-trying and giving up is one that many people struggle with. It is both important to learn something that is not easy, while knowing the subjects where becoming an expert is unlikely and moving on. Unfortunately, we’ve lost the interest or perhaps courage to learn things at a simple competency level.
 
No one is a...
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Be Responsible for Things Important to You

Would you rely on a wake-up call and not set your own alarm if you had an important meeting or interview? The answer is likely “no.” Take personal responsibility for you.
 
Workout buddies are great for example, but they should not dictate whether or not you go to the gym on a day they decide they don’t want to. Likewise, you get to decide what food you want, how much alcohol you will consume, etc.
 
Where else in your life can you apply this principle? Don't give other people the power to dictate when you get to receive the things that bring you joy.
 
Are you waiting for someone to invite you somewhere? Invite them. Are you moving? Waiting for others to offer help? Maybe they think you have it taken care of. If you need it, ask. Want to see a movie this weekend but no one can or wants to see that film? Go yourself. It's pretty rewarding and freeing to know you can and do it. I assure you, no one is staring at you. Even if...
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Your Time is Now!

personal development May 20, 2018
When is the last time you did something just for you? Stepped out of your comfort zone and had a life changing breakthrough? Everything we do yields a result.
 
Do what drives you, excites you, and betters you and those around you!
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Action. The difference Between Wishful Thinking and Projection.

personal development May 13, 2018
Vision without Action is wishful thinking.
Believing you are a certain way without Action is projection.
 
What Action will you take today?
Have a great week!
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Intentional Living: Living with Purpose and Fulfillment

Do you ever wonder where the day, week or month went? It’s not uncommon and we’ve all literally asked that question at some point. As society has evolved with it the daily tasks of life have taken over. Some are necessary while others are by choice.
 
When it comes to busyness there are two kinds of people: Those who are actively engaged in their busyness, and those who are always thinking about what has to be done and are exhausted by their own mind.
 
When is the last time you felt like you had a truly successful day? Or maybe you got a lot done but it’s all just a blur. Intentional Living helps us declutter, focus on purpose and being fulfilled, and take active roles in deciding how our days go.
 
Imagine if you were actively present and engaged with nearly everything you did, and you also gave yourself permission to do nothing. Let’s look at a couple of simple examples.
 
Eating: As a fitness professional I help...
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Suffering in Silence: Undiagnosed ADHD in Women

wellness Apr 29, 2018
Misunderstandings about the differences in ADHD symptoms in males and females have gone on since the initial clinical studies of the 1970s. Really hyperactive young boys were taken to clinics and the diagnostic criteria were based on those studies – making it difficult to diagnose girls unless they behave like hyperactive boys. As boys age their symptoms often decrease, however, as girls move through puberty their hormone changes often magnify the symptoms. Often, symptoms do not appear until the college years or later.
 
As a result adult women are often misdiagnosed with anxiety or mood disorders over ADHD. Of those women being treated with anxiety disorders, the benzodiazepine class of medication often prescribed elicits confusion, depression, and memory loss in its users, amplifying the effects of ADHD the person is already experiencing.
 
Basic differences:
  • Males tend to be more hyperactive and impulsive.
  • Females tend to be scattered,...
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You Can Have a New Ending

personal development Apr 22, 2018
Do you find yourself comparing your life, success, health, relationships, etc to those of others? Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle or different skill set. You can’t have a new beginning but you can have a new ending. At any point in any day you get to choose what decisions you will make or what new doorway to walk through. It may not be easy, but that is how we grow in life. We learn to build confidence making hard choices and overcoming obstacles put in front of us.
 
Every day we have a choice. Next time, instead of looking outward for what is holding you back look inward. See the value in your path, honor yourself, and find the lessons in the setbacks you encounter. It’s up to you to change your ending.
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Do No Harm but Take No Shit.

personal development Apr 15, 2018
Taken out of context the title may sound aggressive. However, if you really look at what it means it is saying that it’s okay to set boundaries while also being aware that is not OK to intentionally harm another being.
We all learn from boundaries: The person setting those practices self-respect, and the other person learns how you want to be treated etc.
 
To illustrate my point I will use some simple personal life examples.
 
The Bar
Years ago I was out with a few friends enjoying a quiet evening at a local bar. Two guys came in and they were being rude and aggressive; eventually one of them calmed down. But for the next hour and a half the second guy kept behaving in a very inappropriate manner.
 
I have a very long and patient fuse that burns over time but we all have a snapping point. Finally in my own very firm manner I let him know that I was done attempting to redirect him and put him in his place.
 
Avoidance: Just leaving and...
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Did You Know the Gut Controls the Brain?

wellness Apr 08, 2018
We all know that the brain is our command center. It uses the vagus nerve to communicate with most of the body including the majority of the digestive tract. It also communicates fight or flight which is why you might feel your heart race, get short of breath, or a knot in your stomach or vomit when you become very stressed or nervous.
 
What science has learned is that 80-90% of the nerves in the enteric nervous system (region from esophagus to anus) go from the gut to the brain. The enteric system is so advanced with an extensive network of more than one hundred million neurons – more than the number of nerves in the spinal chord – that even if you cut the vagus nerve it will continue digestion on its own without the direction of the brain. That’s pretty impressive!
 
Before the modern age of food safety we had to determine if food was safe, if it could provide fuel, etc. The direct communication from the gut tells us this information. This is...
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